or at least I was in my dream.
What is a porksilker, I hear you cry?
Well, that's what people kept asking me in my dream.
So I developed a handy dream definition. A porksilker, I kept explaining to all those dream people, is someone who sews pig thread into its smooth casing.
Now, I'm no dream analyst, but I suspect that Freud may have had something to say about this. 
Porksilking is obviously quite strenuous, since I woke up sweating like a - er - pig.
(N.B. If it's actually a gay sex term for an extreme sexual practice then I don't want to know. Or maybe I do. )
Meanwhile, goodness knows what morelearning's dreaming about but he's upstairs muttering in his sleep, "Yes, sir. I will endeavour to do so, sir."
Woke up at 20 past 5, which classifies as "a good night's sleep" for me these days. However, yesterday morelearning and I ordered a new bed (yay!) which might help matters.
When we first moved in, as we didn't have much furniture, my mate M donated us her old bed which she was chucking out 'cos it was on its last legs. Believe me, it's served us well (and seen plenty of action 
) but it really isn't up to the long term challenges of one 6 ft 4 resident coupled with one very restless 6 month pregnant resident. So yesterday we went on a haul around bed shops where we learned all about new developments in 'memory foam' and had fun testing out the waterbed and upset the acne-scarred assistant in Sleepmistress (name changed to protect identity) who seemed not to consider us serious customers. (Morelearning: unshaven. Me trying to dismount from waterbed: help! help! hoist me up!) What we were basically looking for was a decent bed (gotta be kingsize so morelearning's feet don't hang off the edge) for not much money. We eventually ordered one from Beds 4 Everyone which is run by a jolly nice chap in Frog Island who didn't try to blind us with science about memory foam but shrugged his shoulders and said "Have a look round" and when we asked questions about particular beds said "Lie on it. It costs £X." We liked him alot, so we ordered the Airsprung Minnesota and a cheapish but perfectly adequate mattress. We will have it in 2 weeks and the chap explained that he only delivers after 6pm, 'cos it's him that does the deliveries as well, which just made me like him all the more.
Then we came home and had a coffee and then I put on stockings and sexy shoes and a frock and morelearning put on the nice blue shirt I bought him for Xmas and we went out for dinner to celebrate our anniversary. We went to the Red Lion at Stathern which was a bit of a hike but smashing food and friendly helpful waiting staff (favouring girl-next-door types with comely hips). The bloke behind us set fire to his napkin (he laid it over the candle) and the waitress whisked it outside in seconds but found the whole thing hilarious and giggled for half an hour afterwards. Anyway it was all jolly nice although their handmade chocolate truffles were not quite as nice as my turds.
Then we went home and enjoyed a bit of saucy stuff on the sofa and then we went to bed.
It was a good day. 
